Regaining Hope
by Majestrix Windrider
Summary: Scott and Jean are finished, and he finds himself thinking of Ororo. Scott's POV. Movieverse


"Scott, we don't spend time alone anymore." Jean said, pacing in our room. "It's always something to call you away from whatever evening we have planned. Do you not want to spend time with me?" She looked at me with her arms crossed.

"You should know that isn't true. I've just been really busy lately." I stood, feeling half empty half angry. This was our third argument today. Jean sighed, her red tinted face coming close to mine.

"I miss you Scott. I don't know how much more I can take." She sighed and I frowned. What did that mean? I put my arms around her waist and brought her close.

"How about you take a class off of my workload? Then I'd have more time for us." In nuzzled the hollow of her ear and I felt her frown.

"I can't. I'm too busy." My eyes narrowed and I backed away.

"Fine."

"Scott." I didn't look back as I slammed our door. She has more free time than I do, why couldn't she teach one class for me? I mulled over my feelings as I left the mansion, walking the path beside the lake.

Something was going on. Jean was way more irritable than usual, and I felt like she was hiding something. Our relationship had been suffering ever since Logan left, and when he returned it didn't change. He hadn't been hitting on her, I know because Logan always had that self satisfied smirk when he did.

I sat outside for an hour, just thinking. Anger was always slow to leave me because I literally saw red. I had an early class so I rose, hoping to make amends with the love of my life before I went to sleep.

When I came in the lights were off, Jean asleep. I quietly undressed and slipped into the bed, the red moonlight filtering the only light into the room. I watched as her chest rose and fell, the rhythm comforting as it lulled me to sleep.

In the morning we awoke and everything was done a bit sheepishly, both a little embarrassed at our tempers. We were about to leave when she took me aside and gave me a loving kiss. When we separated I knew I had a goofy look on my face. "I'm sorry hon. Yesterday the children cut my fuse in half, and I'm sorry I took it out on you." I nodded, tucking a bit of red hair behind her ear.

"I understand. It's over and done with, and I'm not mad." I kissed her forehead and looked at my watch. "I've got to go."

"Of course." Her smile was a bit off, but she went to grab a sweater. I held the door open and we went our separate ways.

*

I breathed a sigh of relief. Only two more classes to go, then I could spend time with Jean. I made reservations at her favorite restaurant, and I was going to show her I still loved her. I got through my second to last class with no energy. Bobby, Jubilee, Kitty, and St. John in one class tries even the Professor's nerves. "Scott." I turned and smiled.

"Ororo. What's that?" She had something behind her back.

"A luncheon basket." Ororo grinned and tossed her pink hair.

"You have a date?" She laughed a little.

"No, this is for you."

"I've already had lunch" She shook her head.

"No, this is for you and Jean. Take this period off." Ororo held the basket out ot me.

"But I have a class this period." I objected.

"I'll take it."

"But then you wouldn't have had a free period."

"Scott, just take the basket and give me your lesson plans." We made the switch and I began to smile. "Now go find Jean and have a good time."

"Thanks 'Ro, you don't know how much this means to me." I kissed her on the cheek and almost ran to the elevator. Once inside I frequently shifted my weight waiting for it to stop. Jean would be surprised, and I could show her there was still romance in our relationship.

It opened and finally let me out, and I walked quickly to the laboratory. The doors wooshed open, closing as soon as I was fully in. Jean wasn't in here, so I continued to her office in the back. She was probably grading the biology papers I heard the kids groaning about at lunch.

I came to the office's metallic door and frowned. It was slightly ajar. Jean always kept it closed. I put my hand on the knob, and stopped in absolute shock. My mouth dropped open and my mind went blank.

My wife to be, my fiancé, was against the wall, her long pale legs wrapped around Logan's waist, moaning as they kissed, their groans filling the room. It felt like a bucket of ice water was poured down my shirt as I walked away silently.

I felt sick to my stomach as I walked dazedly to the elevator. How could she? How long had it been going on? I didn't know how I made it out of the mansion, I don't remember seeing anyone. 

I felt like I couldn't do anything. Helpless and hopeless. I buried my head in my hands, blinking back the stinging tears.I fought the urge to throw up as I just fell onto the soft grass. The image of Jean and Logan kept running through my mind like a sick X-rated movie.

I sat up after a while and looked at my watch. I was out here for an hour and a half. I still felt sick, and I received odd looks as I walked to Professor Xavier's office. I raise my hand to knock when he said, "Come in Scott." I walked in and sat down dejectedly. "What's wrong?" I looked up at him, his reddish face filled with concern.

'I need another room." I was surprised I finally vocalized it. I couldn't face that aspect when I was thinking everything over. I couldn't stay in our room any longer. 

"Scott, most couples have hard times before they're married. Do you really want to throw in the towel?"

"Professor," I said in a tightly controlled voice, " You don't know what happened." He was taken aback, I could see it in his posture.

"Of course. Any empty room you're welcome to." I nodded and stood, starting to feel numb. I made it to the door before he stopped me. "Scott, it will get better." I swallowed a bitter laugh as I left. 

When I got to her room Jean was there, just finished brushing her teeth as she toweled her hair dry. "Hi honey, how are you?" I didn't say anything as I started packing my stuff. "Where are you going?" I ignored her still as I flung things into my duffel bag. "Scott!" She came over and put her hand on my shoulder. I spun around, angry again.

"Did you enjoy yourself today Jean?" I threw at her as I shoulder past to get my stuff out of the closet.

"What are you talking about?" She said uneasily.

"You and Logan." I heard her sit down hard in a chair. I turned around and she had her head in her hands. I continued to pack.

"Let me explain." I pounced on those words as I shoved some things into a garment bag..

"You want to explain?" I said incredulously. "This should be good." I crossed my arms and glared at her. She narrowed her eyes and stood.

"You where hardly around anymore. I could barely talk to you and Logan was there. We started talking and…it….progressed." She finished nervously.

"I see. Instead of helping me get through all I had to do you ran to Logan instead?"

"You don't understand." She sighed, looking away.

"You're right, I don't. How long?"

"What?"

"How. Long."

"About a month." I nodded angrily. About the time where we stopped making love.

"Do you love him?" She wouldn't answer. "Do you!" I raised my voice. She looked up in shock, I never yell at her, not even when I was most angry.

"Yes, I do."

"Then I hope you'll be very happy with him." I picked up my things and slammed the door. I took the stairs to the third floor, my energy and anger draining away with the adrenaline. It hit me hard that I would be sleeping alone for the first time in seven years. I reached the room and opened it.

It was basically the same as my old one, except bare, no lived in smells. There wasn't Jean's favorite perfume hanging in the air, or my aftershave wafting in from the bathroom. Jean's robe wasn't hanging on the back of a chair, my graded papers on the desk beside my laptop.

I unpacked quickly, the room tucked away neatly and quietly. When I was done I realized I had left some things behind, but I had no desire to retrieve them. I laid down on the bed. There was no turning back. And as I realized there was no way I would want, I could want, to go back to Jean, my heart broke.

A knock roused me from my misery, and I looked at the door angrily. "Go away." I said loudly, but who ever it was kept knocking. "Just go away!" I said with more force and the door opened. Ororo poked her pink haired head in and I sighed. "What do you want?"

"I found Jean crying, but she couldn't say anything." I sat up and groaned. She came over and sat down beside me and sighed. "What happened?" I spilled my guts. I told her how I found them and what happened afterwards, even the conversation with Jean. "I'm sorry Scott." She said quietly.

"Yeah, me too." I cursed myself as a tear slipped down my cheek. Ororo gave me a hug, and in her arms I cried. I cried as I let lose all my love for Jean, because she wasn't mine anymore.

*

Months passed and the hurt lessened little by little. I no longer inwardly flinched as I saw Jean and Logan together, obviously happy, joking and laughing with each other. I even stopped debating weather or not I was going to kill him. In some perverse way I'm happy for them. But I am empty inside. I got through the day and went back to my room, prepared for the next day and did it all over again. My life had no happiness, I was just going through the motions.

Ororo was there for me in my darkest hours, telling me to live again, being a shoulder to lean on. Without her I wouldn't be emotionally stable today. I wanted to show my appreciation, so I left a note on her desk to meet me by the lake at 10 o'clock.

I had a moonlit picnic waiting for her, for some reason nervous, wondering if she would show up. Ten on the dot she stepped into the clearing by the lake and smiled. "Scott, what is this?" She asked as I took her slender hand in mine, helping her down onto the large blanket.

"It's a thank you present. You've been a valuable friend to me and you helped me through a really rough part of my life. I owe you a lot." I sat down across from her.

"It was my pleasure, really." She smiled self consciously. I raised the bottle of wine and two glasses, smiling. "Would you like some?"

"Most certainly."

*

We had been talking and laughing a while, both of us pouring glasses and glasses of wine and gulping them down. I've never seen 'Ro drunk, so I watched her as she laughed and giggled, something I've never seen her do. I started to notice how beautiful she was in the pink moonlight. She wore a red halter top, bare brown arms and back visible as it strained to hold her mountainous cleavage. Her torso melted into a slender waist, her white shorts mid-thigh.

How could I have missed the goddess that was sitting there in front of me? I smiled a little to myself and she looked back at me. "What?" She asked, smiling herself. 

"I just wondered why you never seem to date." She smiled a little sadly now. "I mean, you're breathtaking." She looked over the lake and sighed.

"The man I wanted was taken." She said quietly. 

"Was…taken?" I almost whispered. She looked back at me and smiled again. 

"Have you ever gone skinny dipping?"

"What?!" I laughed, a pleasant buzz enveloping me. "Nope." I watched her stand and hold out her hand. "No!" I laughed again. She grabbed me and hauled me up.

"Yes, you are coming. Do something adventurous." Ororo smiled again and I wanted to kiss her.

"Okay." I mumbled. Before I realized it she took off her top and her shorts. My mouth dropped open as I took her in. High, full breasts stood proudly at me as she stretched, her hands flicking off a speck from her perfect hips. She looked at me and grinned, running into the water. She wasn't wearing underwear?

"Come on Scott!" I sighed and stripped, wishing I could get to the wine before she noticed, but I marched into the cool water. The red liquid came to my chest as I started to tread. "Now that's not so bad, is it?" She asked, coming closer.

"No," I admitted, starting to enjoy myself. "I guess its okay." She came closer and I tensed, and was awarded with a splash of water in my face. "Hey!" I sputtered, spitting water out of my mouth. I wiped my visor and I saw her trying to swim away, laughing.

Now she knows I'm a great swimmer, strong and quick, and I could always catch up with her. But I couldn't help but laugh as I started after her. We were in the middle of the lake when I grabbed her foot, pulling her down. She yelped and came up gasping. I laughed hard at the look on her face, and was still laughing as she dunked me, holding me under water.

My face was near her stomach, and I stopped fighting, encircling my arms around her waist. Her hands eased from my head to my shoulders, and I rose and broke the surface. We were in each others arms, the red moon's full brilliance shining down on us. We just looked at each other for a while, tranquility settling over us.

"You know, this will change our relationship." Ororo breathed, and I brought her closer.

"Good." I found myself preoccupied with her beautiful lips. I leaned in and kissed her gently, giving in to the feeling I think I've been fighting for a while. We broke apart, acutely aware of our nakedness.

"That was enjoyable." Ororo smiled, shifting slightly so her silken hip brushed against my manhood. I shuddered and held her hips still, and I saw laugher in her eyes.

"Yes it was. Want to do it again?" I leaned in to kiss her when Professor Xavier's voice sounded through our heads.

{My X-Men, I need you here immediately.} Ororo groaned and rested her head against my chest.

"I guess we'll have to continue this later." She looked up at me, sighing.

"You better believe it."


End file.
